Peer+Review

Post your feedback here please!!! Peer Review #1


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 4 || * Very pretty but the long title is a little confusing, perhaps it could be more concise.
 * I think you should either indent your paragraphs or create a full space between them and include headings. The headings should reflect your theme.
 * The first group I have seen use a title page
 * Some sentence mechanical issues made certain points difficult to understand. ||
 * 3 || * This sentence may need a “;” instead of a comma. // The various elements that construct their self identity include, but are not limited to, personality traits, skills, abilities, interests, values, strengths, and self-efficacy. //
 * Sentence Mechanics //(consider the subject and predicate order): Then as the students reaches or is in the process of reaching a deeper sense of meaning in regards to who they are, appropriate career development interventions can play an effective role in connecting the student with meaningful future employment.//
 * Sentence Mechanics: //In the majority, high school sophomores value a good education and the prospect of becoming an expert in their field of work while only a third of sophomores claimed to have an unclear vision of their job at age 30 (Ingels, Burns, Charleston, Chen, & Cataldi, 2005).//
 * Sentence Mechanics//: High school students should be engaged earlier in developing postsecondary education and career aspirations that can be accompanied by an appropriate academic plan (Bangser, 2008).// ||
 * 4.5 || APA standards are mostly met with some exceptions mentioned in section 1 as well as ||
 * 4. || See the sentences in section 2 ||
 * 5. || Good information for future career counselors to know:
 * // The first intervention is educating the high school student on developmental processes and how to apply those skills and knowledge to their own personal growth. Personality, academic achievement, and strength assessments, interest inventories, and self reflection techniques are all valuable in determining some of the student’s individual characteristics //
 * // Values-based career counseling //
 * // Some examples include: 1.) helping the student gain an understanding of self and others especially in terms of strengths and weaknesses; 2.) teaching coping strategies; 3.) teaching problem-solving, decision-making and resolution skills; 4.) helping the student understand effective communication; 5.) managing peer relationships and using effective social skills; and 6.) creating appropriate goals. // ||
 * 6. || Sentences that are evidence for Analysis:
 * //The key component to career development; however, is the development of the student’s identity. In turn, exploring careers also helps the formation of the student’s identity (Maxwell, 2007). Therefore, it is crucial for the school counselor to incorporate self discovery opportunities simultaneously with career development opportunities.//
 * // There are a variety of developmental career interventions that are appropriate and effective for the high school student. A review of the literature reveals the extent of options available to the school counselor to implement into the career development process. // ||


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || Transitions were adequate, yet the complex wording of the sentences damaged readability (made it confusing), connection of research to a broader point was very well-done ||
 * 3 || In many instances, there needed to be more commas; perhaps this occurred because sentences became elongated, awkward wording to the beginning of sentences occasionally (“In the majority,…” ,“On the reverse,…” ||
 * 4 || Adherence to A.P.A. writing standards is adequate here,TITLE IS WAAAAYYYY TOOOOOO LOOOONNNGGGG (42 WORDS!), perhaps cut all words after Individual Identity. I don't believe you need to have 2 quotes; you can paraphrase one or both of these. ||
 * || 4. Did not have to reread any sections but beware of using unnecessary complex language and sentence structure ||
 * || 5. Might expect the goal of understanding personal constructs, objective of identifying 3 potential careers between sessions, interventions of small group discussions of career choices and lifestyle implications ||
 * || 6. Application: Evidence of application stage by transitioning from the research to how counselor would facilitate a group, indication of what is “common among the research” ||


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || I think an introduction would be helpful. It was a little confusing in the beginning, but seemed to become clearer as the paper went on. Could maybe use more transitions so the reader knows what is coming next. ||
 * 3 || Be careful of run-on sentences.. I think some of the sentences get a little wordy. They have good information, but could maybe be split up in order to make it an easier read. Try to think of a different word instead of need. ||
 * 3 || When referencing the author (i.e. According to Ingels et al., don’t forget to put the year in parenthesis behind it. Also a comma should follow that particular one. When citing page number it (p. 135). I’m not sure if the numbering is correct for APA style, but if you don’t know that it is, I would look into that. When citing Bangster and quoting, don’t forget to add the year behind him. ||
 * || I had to reread the beginning, but I’m not sure if that was the writing or if it was just the beginning of the article. I would have liked to see an intro with an outline of what the reader is to expect in the paper. ||
 * || You did a good job in explaining the interventions and I can predict what we will see in the workshop. ||
 * || I think this might be in the comprehension stage?I think you guys did a good job of incorporating all of the articles together when presenting your information, but maybe could have used a little more from you guys. ||

> || 3.5 || Your title to your lit review is very distracting and actually deters me from wanting to read it. Please make it way more concise. Overall, I am able to read this article with ease and the paragraphs transitioned fairly well. I thought the section about the interventions was stronger and easier to follow. || > || 4.5 || As far as grammar and spelling, I did not see any mistakes. Some of your sentences appeared slightly wordy (ie: very first sentence) || > || 4 || It looks like you have met APA standards, especially in regards to citations. You did not over rely on quotes. Some of the citations need years though (ie: (Greene, 36 OR Bangser notes….) || > || || 4. I had to re-read: In the majority, high school sophomores value a good education…..their job at age 30 (Ingels, Burns, Charleston, Chen, & Cataldi, 2005). It just appeared oddly placed and I didn’t understand how it benefited to what you were saying || > || || 5. I am able to see how the information in your lit review will help you create a larger workshop, and I am able to see the possibly workshops you may create. I may expect to see goals of workshops to include being able to assist counselors with different interventions for students; the students to increase their self-knowledge by recognizing their strengths/weaknesses, abilities, and interests. || > || || 6.: Application- Analysis: There are direct links from the source to the review with identification of themes/patterns. I didn’t recognize any specific weaknesses to particular interventions (for example) other than the “one size DOESN’T fit all” in this case. || >
 * **Score** || **Comments** ||
 * 3 || # 1. I thought that at times the review was difficult to completely pinpoint what was being said. Some of the sentences had so much meaning that they may deserve their own sentence rather than jamming into one longer piece. I also would have liked to see some better transitions. New paragraphs appeared to just begin without introduction and a transitional sentence or sentences may make the review more readable. I believe the Title is way too long. I had to re-read it a few times to really grasp the concept. ||
 * 4 || # 2. I believe that the grammar and spelling at a high level. While grammar is not my strength a more trained eye may have found more than I could. Some of the statements became lengthy and although they may have been formatted appropriately they appear as lengthy when they could have been arranged in more concise language. ||
 * 4 || # 3. I believe this was done well and appropriately for APA standards however there are a lot of quotes and to know whether or not you cited or put adequate quotations is difficult. Many of the quotations could have really become yours without needing citation if more interpretation was used and not so much of a reliance on the article’s written language. ||
 * || # 4. I’m not sure if it is fair to say I re-read over one part or the whole project because I struggle to read on a computer screen especially in this format however a lot of your written parts which were restating the knowledge from the articles felt choppy. I also found that some of your long sentences with many examples were difficult to digest all at one time and a shorter approach may have been more appropriate. ||
 * || # 5. I definitely agree that there is an application for this review on the larger scale. I can see how the authors may use; personality, academic achievement, and strength assessments, interest inventories, and self reflection techniques in their workshop. I am a little hazy about the rest however. I understand that the use of a career fair is a tool but how do you plan to use it? I also agree that using externships/internship will be useful however this will obviously be difficult through a career workshop to re-create. I would expect this group to create a mock career workshop, and to go over some hypothetical situations and role play people who are in their shoes speaking with the professionals. I also believe that the internships standpoint may be beneficial to role play and go through some of the information out there about what to expect of oneself in the internship setting to prepare a student and eventual worker for this type of relationship. ||
 * || # 6. I would place this literature review between the Comprehension and Application levels of Bloom’s Taxonomy. I really believe that some of these topics presented relied greatly on information from the articles rather than interpretation to make points and to field discussion. To move to higher levels I would have preferred to see some of the data analyzed and interpreted rather than feeling as though it was just filtered and written over. I definitely see the connections being made here and view the research as valid. || Score || Comments ||
 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3.5 || # This literature review could have been made more reader friendly by adding headings. The title was also way too long and the conclusion was wordy and ended abruptly. Is it possible to put more space between each reference? It was a bit hard to read. ||
 * 4 || # A number of the sentences seemed to be run on and too wordy. I thought the overall complexity was good. In line 12, the letters ASCA should be spelled out so that everyone will know what that stands for. ||
 * 4 || # It seemed like APA standards were adhered to for the most part in this literature review. ||
 * 3 || # I had to reread the conclusion a few times. The first sentence was too long and I think the last sentence was weak and not the “closer” sentence it could have been. ||
 * 4.5 || # Yes the group did a great job with that part of the review. They mentioned about career fairs, instruction, on site exploration and individual counseling to name a few and went into detail. (Maybe more than needed??) ||
 * 3 || # I guess I feel that this lit. review is in the analysis/synthesis level. I didn’t see a lot of themes flowing through the paper although I thought it was a good review overall. ||
 * 3 || # I guess I feel that this lit. review is in the analysis/synthesis level. I didn’t see a lot of themes flowing through the paper although I thought it was a good review overall. ||


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 4 || Using headings would make this paper easier to read and to more readily see the main points. It may also be beneficial to shorten your title; the meaning was lost in how long it was. ||
 * 4 || I noticed that you were missing several commas throughout the paper. Also, some of the paragraphs seemed unnecessarily wordy. ||
 * 5 || Good job of paraphrasing and using quotes sparingly. The review comes across as articulate and thought out. ||
 * || 4. I did not find any parts that did not make sense. ||
 * || 5. I could see the types of goals and interventions that may be used in the workshop; however, I would expect them to be more specific. ||
 * || 6. This review seems to be at the synthesis level. The ideas from the various articles are combined into themes and are integrated. While it would be possible to achieve the evaluation level by mentioning the quality of the articles, it is not needed to make the review applicable to the workshop. ||

I don’t think that you should use contractions (“ Through this process, it’s necessary for the student …”) I don’t think that you should use “/” in your paper. Ie. And/or; he/she. I am not certain, though. || For this sentence, “Bangser notes that a student’s exposure to the world of work can be important because the student is often lacking information regarding the educational requirements for particular occupations (p. 11).” You need the year after the author’s name. || It seemed like you continuously thought about the use of the material in the literature review to application in your workshop. I think that you’ll have plenty of material. Good job! || You definitely __applied__ the material when you talk about the different interventions. In my opinion, you also __analyzed__ information in these two sentences, “This trial and error process gives the student the ability to pare down their possibilities as they near postsecondary education. These interventions are especially beneficial to the student entering the work force immediately.” (You used the research to make a conclusion of your own.) In the second paragraph, beginning, “in the majority” I think that you __synthesized__ information. You cited a series of authors, and then concluded with, “Therefore, it is crucial for the school counselor to incorporate self discovery opportunities simultaneously with career development opportunities. Through this process, it’s necessary for the student to take the perspective that career development is an ever changing life long process,” based on all of their arguments. I don’t think that you delved into __evaluation__. I suppose to get to this level, you could rate the various interventions for effectiveness. Maybe some interventions could be more effective than others (or maybe they can’t, which you could note as well…) ||
 * Score || Comments ||
 * 4 || There are some awkward sentences that make it more difficult to read. The theme of the literature review, however, is clear. ||
 * 3 || There are some grammatical errors.
 * 1) “ The key component to career __development; however__, is the development of the student’s identity.”
 * 3 || This is more difficult to determine, because wikispaces changes the formatting. The citations themselves are mostly correct. For one (Greene,, p. 36), you need to cite the year before the page number.
 * || See the first comment. ||
 * || You definitely made some good observations/conclusions. One that sticks out to me was, “ The key component to career development; however, is the development of the student’s identity. In turn, exploring careers also helps the formation of the student’s identity (Maxwell, 2007).” This will definitely help when you plan your workshop.
 * || You had some opportunities to bring in more research to confirm your findings. For example, “ Through this process, it’s necessary for the student to take the perspective that career development is an ever changing life long process.” You could note Super’s life span/space approach or the definition of career as a lifelong enterprise that involves free time activities and work. I think that this lack of citing multiple authors could really add to the quality of your argument.


 * **Score** || **Comments** ||
 * 3 || # 1. I was a little confused with the beginning of your paper; however, as I continued reading I felt that you provided sufficient information regarding high school and career counseling as well as interventions that could be implemented. In addition to the beginning being a little confusing I would have liked to see more transitions to have a better understanding of what you were trying to say next. ||
 * 3 || # 2. As I was reading I thought you grammar and spelling were good but I was a little confused with some of the sentence structures and how the paper flowed at times. ||
 * 4 || # 3. You did a nice job adhering to APA writing standards. I even double checked with Dr. Baker on questions regarding whether particular information was cited and he informed me that it is the proper way to cite APA style. On the other hand, I feel as though the title was too long. ||
 * 4 || # 4. I feel as though the information was clear but transitions would have been more helpful. ||
 * 4 || # 5. I would expect to see the overall goal of what you would expect a high school student to obtain before graduation. I would also anticipate seeing interventions that can be done with high school students. ||
 * 3 || # 6. I noticed a lot in the knowledge and comprehension stages with the amount of information that you provided along with the main ideas from various sources. ||
 * Score || Comments ||
 * 5 || # This paper was very easy to understand. Although there weren’t any heading used throughout the paper, the sections all seemed to logically flow into the next section. The writers stated a clear point at the beginning of the paper and I feel like that point was supported throughout the paper in a clear and precise manner. ||
 * 5 || # This paper was written on a level that adheres to professional graduate level writing. There weren’t any spelling and/or other grammatical errors in the paper that made it hard to read. ||
 * 4 || # I did not encounter any issues that clearly violated APA standards. The only issue I find was that in the beginning of the paper, there were several sentences that probably should have been accompanied by a citation. The one APA violation that I did find in this paper is that the title is too long. One of first glance of the article, I mistakenly thought that the title was the first paragraph. ||
 * || # The writers did an excellent job at presenting their evaluation in an effective manner in each section. I previously mentioned how each section flowed seamlessly into the next section; which really helped me understand what I was reading on the first read through, as opposed to having to reread sections. ||
 * || # The only workshop I could envision from this information would be creative ways at increasing career development options for student at the high school level. I look forward to seeing how this group presents this information. ||
 * || # I would rate this group’s literature review as being at the analysis stage of the taxonomy. There is a lot of relevant information presented here, but I think that there could have been more due in the area of actual evaluation. ||


 * Score || Comments ||
 * 3 || I found this to be a little bit difficult to read. It would also be easier to read if there were headings and subheadings ||
 * 3 || Grammar and spelling are good. Syntax is sometimes confusing. ||
 * 4 || I was wondering if there are any references for the first paragraph about high school students and identity because there aren’t any citations in this first paragraph. Overall APA looks ok. I think when you do an in-text citation for a quote, you add “p.” before the page number. Ex. (p. 36) instead of (36). ||
 * 4 || The information makes sense. I did have to reread some parts over again because the wiki is hard to format but overall it made sense. ||
 * 4 || I can see how the information in this review could be used for a career workshop. I’d expect to see things like self discovery tools, interest inventories, problems solving activities, and some information about internships ||
 * 4.5 || I think this writing is at the synthesis level which is fine for a lit review. If you wanted to take it to the evaluation level then you could critique each article and mention its strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. || Score || Comments ||
 * 4 || Interesting topic but please can you shorten your title. I think the APA manual recommends that article titles should be of 12-words long. You may want to check that out. Also, the APA format suggests that you add page numbers to in-text citation only when you quote directly from a source and the page number should be cited as (p. 133) and not just (133) ||
 * 5 || This review is readable and easy to understand. Good work done ||
 * 4 || I like the content and the information you pulled from different sources to substantial the various points that you made. However, you can add a theoretical flavor to the review by commenting on what some career theorists say about the role of self identity in career development. ||
 * 4 || On Bloom’s classification, I will place this work at the synthesis. You showed evidence of comprehension of the various articles read and your were able to piece the information together nicely. ||